Testimonies from IGo

clapping-hands-childrenIt’s not fair! It is so not fair! Why have I been blessed with way more food than is healthy for me when there are other children of God who live in the agony of hunger-emaciating starvation? Why do I complain about my mattress being too hard when there are many who have no place to lay their heads and who may not even survive the night? Why have I been taught what’s right and given a personal choice about purity when there are girls being sold into the sex trade every day? Why do I know truth when many will die in the hopelessness of their lies? The answer is simple. You want to accomplish Your glory in and through me. You want to use me. My heart bleeds for the travesty I see around me, but it is not enough. It is not enough to just see the need and realize how blessed I am. I am called to action. I can no longer pretend the ugliness is not out there, because I know it is. Will I squelch the burning in my heart? Will I forget?

God help me to never forget. I am ready to see the harvest as You see it. It isn’t what I can do for You. It is what You can do through me. It is Your work, God. I am at times terrified of what it will cost me, but I am willing. Do it, Lord; accomplish Your will in me.

 

My Thailand trip was the most stretching and it feels like God did the most work on me on this trip. This was the trip that four of us took with Pastor G to visit his churches in the Karen villages and then we ended up at Bible Camp for five days. I was taken way out of my comfort zone and there were times when I felt very alone being out in the village during Bible Camp away from all familiar surroundings and at times even away from anyone that could speak “my” language. But it was in these times that I “hung on” to Jesus like never before. He was the only thing that was familiar and my only friend that went with me as I went with my group of Karen girls to the house where we stayed for the night during the week of Bible Camp. It was also on this trip that God gave me insight into the lives of the girls that live out in these mountain villages and the huge need for someone to teach them godly principles. I hope I never forget this week out in the mountains of Thailand, the tears of the villagers as we said goodbye to them that last evening, and that hope that we all had of meeting in Heaven some day soon.

 

Tonight I was looking back in my journal and came across the section I wrote of my testimony from that weekend back in October…during second (fifth) term. It was the weekend some of us guys went up to Darren and Brian’s place..and then the Tuesday after that (most of us will probably remember that better). It was that weekend that my spiritual life changed dramatically. And reading about it, just got me excited all over again . . . .

When I look at the things I was writing in the journal before that, and then after that and I see the change in my perspectives and in my understanding of salvation and who I am as a Christian it’s incredible.

That weekend I went from years of struggling with defeat, of constant doubt and lack of assurance, and feeling so much distance from God to a now ever-present quiet peace and sense of presence of His power within me. Folks, I cannot explain how this has changed my life. The power it has given me over sin, over fear, in reaching out to others. And the incredibly exciting thing is that even now after two months of being at home my testimony is the same. Yes, I’ve struggled, I’ve doubted, I’ve failed, I’ve gotten discouraged, and bewildered, but, when I step back and look, down deep inside I know that God is there, He’s changed me, His power is present, He’s carrying me, He’s causing me to be an overcomer. Sometimes, when I think of what He’s done in my life I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs YES!! for the rest of my life. Because I know who I am, and I know Who made me who I am! And that, my friends, is incredibly exciting!

That’s my testimony from my time at IGo.

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